impulsive | ɪmˈpʌlsɪv | adjective
1. Acting or done without forethought.
Synonyms: impetuous, spontaneous, hasty, passionate, emotional, uninhibited, unrepressed, abandoned
According to the Oxford Dictionary, my decision to go to Colombia last year without even knowing which continent this exciting-sounding place was in is a perfect example of their rather scathing definition.
Whether I was dictionary-definition impulsive or not, I now know that Colombia is in South America. I also know that if you go to Colombia there’s a good chance you will need police escorts because of a bomb threat, end up in a taxi with a driver who is on a whole different planet called Drugs, be served raw chicken even after you send it back to be cooked, get super sun-burnt, have to ask the police to remove your stalker, and spend a long time in and out of hospital with Dengue Fever.
I also now know that Colombia has the most beautiful sunsets and snorkeling ever, the best coffee you’ll ever taste, serves pizza the size of a tyre, deliciously warm weather, and an incredible history of violence and forgiveness. South America left me in awe.
So whilst I possibly should have done more research before signing up for trip to an unknown place, the end result is that had I known all the risks fully, I still would have gone.
Strange Puzzle Pieces.
Something I’ve been learning is that in my spiritual journey, God usually only gives me one puzzle piece at a time. If I look at the one puzzle piece, for example, going to Colombia, it looks bizarre. But later down the track, when I have more puzzle pieces, I put them together and they make a corner of the giant puzzle and I can see a bit of the picture at least.
Sometimes, I don’t know whether God’s handing me a puzzle piece or I’m hacking my own one out of a piece of cardboard. Usually though, He’s pretty good at letting me know. My scissors I’m cutting with get pretty blunt, and making my own puzzle piece becomes seriously hard work. And when it’s done, it looks very, very ugly, not to mention the fact it doesn’t fit with any other pieces.
My Current Puzzle Piece.
My latest puzzle piece is called North America. Never ever did I dream that after visiting South America last year, I’d be off to explore North America this year!
I discovered Bethel Worship a couple of years ago and fell in love with their unique style of worship. This song, “You Make Me Brave” is their most watched song on YouTube, with over 6 million hits in two years.
Hayden Graham along with his mate Cam Richardson did a very entertaining review and podcast of the latest album “We Will Not Be Shaken” for Restless Press which I’m actually listening to as I write this. As the boys play excerpts of the songs from the album, tears well up in my eyes. There is such a power in the songs and it is with great disbelief I write that I have been accepted into Bethel’s Worship U praise and worship summer school. Two weeks of intensive training in praise and worship. Two weeks of encountering God in such a breathtaking way. Two weeks, one puzzle piece.
Impulsive or Trusting?
“If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” – John 15:19
I think one of the most disappointing things someone can ever say to me, is that I need to get my head out of the clouds. I know, that I must seem impulsive and unrealistic. I know that my puzzle piece doesn’t make sense to anyone else – and when I don’t even understand why I’m doing seemingly crazy things, I can’t explain it to anyone else in a way that will reassure them. ‘I trust God’ doesn’t comfort many Christians, let alone those who have no faith at all. But if my head is ‘in the clouds’ that’s exactly where I want it to be. I don’t want to be heavily anchored to the earth beneath my feet.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11
I don’t have a job, and honestly I’m relying on God to provide the money for me to get to America, leaving in 26 days, on the 30th of June 2015. I quit my job last year to move to Australia after I felt God calling me to abandon security and walk on the waters of the sea in faith with Him for a while. It was a puzzle piece I didn’t understand, but I left those I loved behind and three weeks later arrived at Brisbane Airport, my new place to call home.
I’m back in New Zealand now, and I could never regret my time in Australia. I am incredibly glad I went instead of taking the pay rise and security offered to me in the job I’d been working for three years. My impulsive decision to go to Colombia meant I could attend a World conference on Divine Mercy – Divine Mercy is where the words “Jesus, I trust in You” come from. I was able to go to Colombia because someone anonymously paid for my flights. What I learnt during the conference gave me the trust to quit my job and move to Australia. Being in Australia enabled me to make connections to establish an Australian founded youth ministry organization in New Zealand. Being in Colombia gave me the tropical disease which brought me back from Brisbane to the people I loved in New Zealand.
I don’t doubt that I only see a very small amount of the full picture God has painted onto this infinite piece puzzle He calls The Life of Jessica Claire. A year later, I’m beginning to see a little of how the puzzle fits together from all that happened to do with Colombia and Australia, and it amazes me. If I trace back even further, it gets even crazier. I was invited to go to Colombia, because I was a youth leader in a certain parish, and I was a youth leader in that parish because I had been to a camp the year before, and I went to that camp because my friend took me…I can’t even trace back how it happened.
I may be jobless, and a little lost, but I can’t help but rejoice. God has gifted me with another puzzle piece – Bethel – and I am overwhelmed by the endless, glorious possibilities of where it might fit and what He will teach me along the way.
trust | trʌst | noun
1. Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Synonyms: confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction
If you feel called to support Jessica financially, you can find her Givealittle page here.
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